


Secret Handshakes

by intoapuddle



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: ???? i guess ????, Crack, Established Relationship, M/M, Magical Realism, Smut, Threesome, homage to the hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 10:51:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20044780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoapuddle/pseuds/intoapuddle
Summary: From "The Hand" by Philip Michael Lester:Dan and Phil even taught the hand some of their secret best friend handshakes. It was responding to the fun.Secret best friend handshakes? Sounds like smut to me :)





	Secret Handshakes

Dan and Phil like to think that the hand hasn’t taken over their lives, but-

They have been watching Game of Thrones every day for weeks. Because that’s what the hand wants. Because Phil is fucking weird and treats the hand like a weird pet.

Dan glances over at him on the sofa. Phil is shirtless and mindlessly stroking the back of the hand on one side of his chest, just below the nipple. The hand reaches then, towards the bowl of popcorn between them on the sofa, and Dan rolls his eyes as he kicks it within reach for it to grab.

“Hey, thanks,” Phil says as the hand puts the handful of popcorn on his chest.

He grins at it, as if it’s not just a freak mutant that they definitely, definitely should go and have checked out. Phil turns his head to look at Dan as if he can sense the sulking glare coming from across the sofa.

“Dan?” Phil asks. “What’s up?”

Dan groans, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m sick of Game of Thrones!” he whines.

Phil quirks an eyebrow and looks back at the TV restarting episode one season one.

“Alright,” Phil says. “So turn it off?”

Dan rolls his eyes as he reaches for the remote.

“Won’t that upset your weird buddy over there?” he asks, voice dripping in poorly veiled disdain.

Dan pretends not to see the genuine hurt on Phil’s face and turns off the TV. They sit in silence for two long seconds. The hand taps mindlessly on Phil’s stomach.

Phil eventually breaks the silence with a loud, surprised yelp. 

The hand has started moving, extending downwards to cup Phil’s crotch. Dan has seen the hand’s arm push out a few times, when Phil wants something. Phil says he can’t control it, but it does seem to oddly sense what he wants a lot of the time. And now, the hand is unbuttoning and unzipping Phil’s jeans, pushing below the waistband of his boxers.

“Hey, stop!” Phil says, trying to pull the hand off.

The hand usually listens, but this time it’s determined. Dan stares in shock, as the hand starts to stroke Phil’s cock under his underwear.

Phil stares back at Dan helplessly.

Phil’s cheeks have started to flush pink and his nostrils flare. He breathes out of his mouth, eyes shutting for a moment, and Dan chokes on a laugh.

“You’re turned on?” Dan asks, incredulous. “You’re liking it?”

The hand almost seems spurred on by Dan’s words. It starts stroking him faster, and from where Dan is sitting it looks like it has fully wrapped around Phil’s now hard dick.

“It’s touching me!” Phil hisses back. His voice is what really gives him away, low and restrained. “I can’t help it.”

Dan scoots closer, worried now, and pushes Phil’s boxers down so he can see. Phil makes a disagreeing noise that Dan pretends he can’t hear. 

It’s really going it at it. Phil’s cock is impressively hard for the short amount of time he’s been jerked off for. His dick is wet at the tip, the skin darkening into red. The hand wanks him tirelessly, quick, short strokes like it knows what Phil likes.

What if the hand tries to pull Phil’s dick off? They don’t know it’s intentions. They don’t know what it even is. Dan’s heart is pounding so hard he can’t hear, his vision blurring.

“Phil, what--”

Dan’s hearing comes back the moment Phil lets out an unrestrained moan of pleasure. He is rocking his hips with the hand and coming hard, come dripping onto his stomach. The hand is squeezing it out of him, flicking the tip, slowing as Phil starts to come down.

Dan blinks, half amazement and half fear. He looks at Phil’s face and there’s shame there. Shame mixed with the type of look he only has after a particularly mind blowing orgasm.

“Phil,” Dan says, at a loss.

The hand retreats back, arm disappearing inside Phil’s body again.

“Don’t,” Phil says finally and pulls up his pants. “Not a word.”

He stands up and turns, dead set on leaving.

“Phil, wait!” Dan shouts.

There’s no use. Phil slams the door of his bedroom and Dan is left to process what he just witnessed on his own.

-

They don’t talk about it for two days. Dan has no clue how to approach the subject because Phil is upset, avoiding Dan as much as he can.

Dan can’t not bring it up when he wakes up to the bed moving in rhythm, the sound of Phil’s moans more effective than any alarm clock. As Dan’s eyes startle open he is subjected to the sight of Phil next to him, naked, with the duvet pushed off, fucking the hand as it wanks him just as furiously as it did the other night. 

Phil doesn’t seem to be aware that it’s happening. His eyes are shut and his hips are thrusting on instinct, completely rid of whatever he held back when it was the two of them on the sofa.

Dan watches in wonder, growing intrigued by the sight. He and Phil haven’t had sex since the hand appeared a week ago, and seeing him like this makes it impossible for Dan to go unaffected. He’s getting hard and it’s confusing because the hand is so fucking weird and Phil sounds like he’s having the best sex of his life and-

Dan sits up, shaking Phil’s shoulder, as he puts a stopping hand around the hand’s wrist.

Phil wakes up confused. He’s panting, eyes swimming with lust that he doesn’t seem to know why it’s there.

“Dan?” Phil croaks.

Phil’s eyes shut hard as the hand squeezes his dick despite the restraint of Dan’s hand.

“I don’t know what to do,” Dan says in a panic. “I don’t know why the fuck it’s doing that. I don’t know if I should stop it.”

Phil bites his lip. Dan crumbles.

“I’m scared,” he confesses, an urge to cry rising in his throat.

Phil shakes his head and reaches out for Dan’s thigh. Dan is holding on to the hand for dear life as it strains to break free.

Phil mumbles something that Dan can’t hear.

“What?” Dan asks.

Phil sighs, looking away, the redness on his face not just coming from arousal.

“I said, don’t,” Phil says and looks back at him, something pleading behind his eyes.

“Wait, Phil-”

Phil pulls Dan’s hand away and the hand begins to wank him again. Phil rocks into it, eyes shutting, moans coming out like he can’t stop them. It seems animal, the way he does it, the way he can’t seem to resist it. It doesn’t take long until he comes, a look of pure elation on his face, a generous load spilling into his stomach and dripping down the hand’s knuckles.

Phil breathes hard as the hand retreats. He sits up, staring Dan square in the face. He looks so determined that Dan doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“You like it,” Phil says.

“What?”

Dan blinks, as confused now as he feels he has been for the past week.

“You’re hard,” Phil clarifies, putting his hand between Dan’s legs.

It’s true. Dan bucks into it without meaning to, and he can’t help but groan. He misses Phil’s touches. He thought he couldn’t be turned on by Phil while the hand is here, but right now every part of him is as desirable as they always are if not more.

“I can’t,” Dan says, despite himself, ashamed of his feelings.

Phil doesn’t listen. He pushes on top of Dan and pulls Dan’s dick out and wanks him. He kisses him softly on the mouth and Dan can only lean into it, his body buzzing with what he’s had to miss out on for too long.

Dan comes when something flicks his nipple. The sensation is unexpected and moves through his entire body. Even Phil seems surprised.

Sure enough, it’s the hand, coming out to play. As Dan comes down from his orgasm he acts on instinct. He leans down, and licks Phil’s come off of its knuckles.

Phil stares at him in awe. Dan smiles back up at him, sucking a finger into his mouth with greed.

-

It may be fucking weird, but once Dan and Phil accept the hand as part of their sex life, it makes everything better. There’s more reach, and the hand seems to respond when Dan practically blows it. It shudders as he sucks, grabbing his chin like it owns him, causing Dan’s eyes to roll back in his head. He wants to gag on that hand while Phil fucks his ass.

So he does. They find every single position they can to make it happen, time and time again.

The hand is fucking weird, but one things for certain; they’re making the most of it.

**Author's Note:**

> blame_phil.jpeg
> 
> [tumblr post](https://intoapuddle.tumblr.com/post/186660398378/i-like-to-think-that-this-is-all-ahappydnp-and)


End file.
